Well, here I am again, and not much to report since my last very enthusiastic post, which was to serve the dual purpose of recording some history of the creation of my enterprise, as well as to keep me accountable...sooooo....let's keep me accountable! The last couple of weeks have seen me go from being completely sure of my mission to wondering what I was thinking and back again [more than once]. And I guess for anyone with a vision of great change, that would be often the case. So tonight, I post to reassure myself that this is indeed possible, and to remind myself that everyone has times where they doubt themselves.
A very dear friend posted information on her Facebook page recently which included the recommendation [from a researcher] that when self-doubting, one should simply shake their head, as that confuses the brain into not believing the self-doubt. So here I sit, shaking my head and muttering to myself, hoping nobody can actually see me, because if they can, the men in white coats will surely not be too far away!
On the positive side, I am someone who usually does a lot of their creating in their head, well before anything structured goes on paper. To this end, I have certainly put quite a bit of effort into THINKING about the book and getting ideas about what is to be included. All this could get very messy!
Like any good presentation, I must remember not to overload my reader with information - after all what is wrong with presenting a SERIES of books, rather than flooding a first reader with way too much info? Knowing where to stop has always been a problem for me. Consequently my head is full of ideas, of unwritten chapters, of areas that need to be researched. I certainly am going to be in need of a good editor - good thing I know one!
I really need to start listing my ideas, before my sponge of a brain starts to drip out it's overload! I have bought myslef a whiteboard/corkboard combo to get started doing exactly that, and am about to start my list...and I am wondering exactly what has been stopping me so far.
It could be that I am getting distracted [how unusual...not!] by needing to alter and make dresses for people. I was supposed to have stopped that, but suddenly I find myself with four clients - two of whom are brides! I DO want to do these dresses. I am particularly excited about the two non-brides as both of them are people who I care very deeply for and I know they will look amazing in their new dresses.
But I need to be very firm with myself. Right here and now, I need to make a vow that I will not allow myself to be distracted by taking on more sewing. I will make these dresses for my beautiful friends, then THAT IS IT! I will NOT allow myself to be swayed from my vision through drifitng back into the fashion industry - a very tempting prospect as I am very confident and comfortable with my ability to design and make dresses. Perhaps that is why I allow myself to stray back to that path. Perhaps the self-doubt and uncertainty that comes with such a diverse new path scares me, so I am resorting to a comfort zone for some relief from the fear. Or maybe the Universe is allowing me some respite from my doubt by sending these comfortable opportunities my way...or in fact, it could be reminding me to focus!
It is time for me to face that fear, shake away the self-doubt and get on with it. Tonight, I unwrap my boards and note book, and start to turn the ideas currently swarming like angry bees in my head into black and white reality - on a board and in a notebook. Planning was never a strong-point of mine - it is time for that to change. Tonight, the plan starts to materialise. Tonight the drive and focus is back...just got to unpick that hem first.
Tuesday 11 September 2012
Thursday 30 August 2012
Getting Going...not GUNNA-ing
It seems like I am full of great ideas....I get all enthused, excited, tell my friends what I am GUNNA do....then life gets in the way, and slowly but surely the idea dissipates...like steam into a fog. Funny thing is, I don't actually regret most of the ideas that haven't come to fruition...not at the moment at least!
Why?
Well, I have always beleived I was put here on this wonderful planet for a purpose. I just had no idea what it was! I attended all sorts of self-development workshops, participating in all sorts of exercises, guided meditations, visualisations [even walked barefoot over hot coals] in an effort to empower and enlighten myself - but to no avail! The most I could visualise was sitting with a group of tweens having a chat.
Then, in July last year, I had several 'Aha' moments. At the POWERtalk International Convention [look up www.powertalkinternational.com] in Indianapolis, I had a whole week of serendipitous moments - moments that I knew were meant to be.
The week culminated with a workshop [which I almost didn't attend] during which I finally worked it out - well, the bones of it at least! I know now what I am working towards, and whilst that wont be revealed here as yet, I will be revealing steps in the process as I go along.
I find it absolutely amazing [and inspiring] that the answers didn't come to me until I was truly ready for them. And the pieces of the puzzle also are coming little by little as I clear the space for them to happen. For example, to establish myslef as an authority in the field in which my vision can come to fruition, I need to write some books. I have known that for some time. I have been writing for a few years now, and there have been many ideas, but again most of them have ended up GUNNA's. Not all of them, though. And I have had some success with international awards in fiction and non-fiction and national awards in Poetry [all very exciting and wonderful validation that this is part of the path]. But, the idea for the book that would give me the credibility I needed just wouldn't come. I agonised for ages over it. Then, stopped thinking about it for a while as I decluttered my home and office. No sooner was my desk clear and my cupboards organised, the idea materialised, and I now know what I need to write.
This book will get me started - break me in to the world as an authority on the subject and bring me some recognition with the general public. I need to do all those things to achieve the vision. What is the vision? I am still defining it, so I am not prepared to share it just yet, so I won't say it here and now.
What I will say here and now is that it is BIG - very big in fact. It will be global and it will bring about change to the lives of many - positive, inspirational change. This blog will serve two purposes. It will be a record of the process - a history of the creation of my Global organisation for positive change. But the second purpose it this... It will keep me accountable! So I have to stay on track - on the rails - and for once, I dont let the idea go away. This is my purpose - my vision. Letting it go, would make it all pointless. And I dont intend for that to happen.
Everything in my life so far has brought me to this point, and for the first time in my almost 48 years, I KNOW I am on the right path - on the path that was predestined for me. This path explains exactly why I have gone through all the experiences [both good and bad] in my life. It explains the agony and the ecstacy of my journey, and it makes me inordinately grateful for each and every moment.
And as for regretting the GUNNA's that didn't happen... well, I don't regret them, because at this time I can see every moment of my life, every idea I ever had and didn't pursue led me to this very moment in time. The GUNNA's have made me reallise how important it is to have a goal that is solid and set to work towards.
I currently have two - my long-term vision, which I am still refining, and my shorter term goal of my book, which I am absolutely sure is a part of the process towards achieving my vision.
So, whilst I await the answers which further refine the vision, I am in the planning stages of my book. I ask you who read this, to help me. Please, keep reminding me to stay on track...dont let me falter and fall away because this is too important.
Come with me on a journey...keep me on the rails to positive change around the world!
Why?
Well, I have always beleived I was put here on this wonderful planet for a purpose. I just had no idea what it was! I attended all sorts of self-development workshops, participating in all sorts of exercises, guided meditations, visualisations [even walked barefoot over hot coals] in an effort to empower and enlighten myself - but to no avail! The most I could visualise was sitting with a group of tweens having a chat.
Then, in July last year, I had several 'Aha' moments. At the POWERtalk International Convention [look up www.powertalkinternational.com] in Indianapolis, I had a whole week of serendipitous moments - moments that I knew were meant to be.
The week culminated with a workshop [which I almost didn't attend] during which I finally worked it out - well, the bones of it at least! I know now what I am working towards, and whilst that wont be revealed here as yet, I will be revealing steps in the process as I go along.
I find it absolutely amazing [and inspiring] that the answers didn't come to me until I was truly ready for them. And the pieces of the puzzle also are coming little by little as I clear the space for them to happen. For example, to establish myslef as an authority in the field in which my vision can come to fruition, I need to write some books. I have known that for some time. I have been writing for a few years now, and there have been many ideas, but again most of them have ended up GUNNA's. Not all of them, though. And I have had some success with international awards in fiction and non-fiction and national awards in Poetry [all very exciting and wonderful validation that this is part of the path]. But, the idea for the book that would give me the credibility I needed just wouldn't come. I agonised for ages over it. Then, stopped thinking about it for a while as I decluttered my home and office. No sooner was my desk clear and my cupboards organised, the idea materialised, and I now know what I need to write.
This book will get me started - break me in to the world as an authority on the subject and bring me some recognition with the general public. I need to do all those things to achieve the vision. What is the vision? I am still defining it, so I am not prepared to share it just yet, so I won't say it here and now.
What I will say here and now is that it is BIG - very big in fact. It will be global and it will bring about change to the lives of many - positive, inspirational change. This blog will serve two purposes. It will be a record of the process - a history of the creation of my Global organisation for positive change. But the second purpose it this... It will keep me accountable! So I have to stay on track - on the rails - and for once, I dont let the idea go away. This is my purpose - my vision. Letting it go, would make it all pointless. And I dont intend for that to happen.
Everything in my life so far has brought me to this point, and for the first time in my almost 48 years, I KNOW I am on the right path - on the path that was predestined for me. This path explains exactly why I have gone through all the experiences [both good and bad] in my life. It explains the agony and the ecstacy of my journey, and it makes me inordinately grateful for each and every moment.
And as for regretting the GUNNA's that didn't happen... well, I don't regret them, because at this time I can see every moment of my life, every idea I ever had and didn't pursue led me to this very moment in time. The GUNNA's have made me reallise how important it is to have a goal that is solid and set to work towards.
I currently have two - my long-term vision, which I am still refining, and my shorter term goal of my book, which I am absolutely sure is a part of the process towards achieving my vision.
So, whilst I await the answers which further refine the vision, I am in the planning stages of my book. I ask you who read this, to help me. Please, keep reminding me to stay on track...dont let me falter and fall away because this is too important.
Come with me on a journey...keep me on the rails to positive change around the world!
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