Days Like These

We all have them. Days like these.
Days when you just feel down. And often you cant even pinpoint the reason.

It's not been a bad day - actually if I think about it, it's been a pretty good one. And yet,
Ii could happily sit and have a cry! I say 'happily' because I am not actually unhappy....I just feel like I need to cry. How crazy is that?

Feeling like this leads to some introspection - indeed, if it didn't, I'd be a lot more worried!

So, I'm sitting here thinking about my life.

Why do I want to cry?

Perhaps, because I am tired - it's been a big week! Perhaps it is frustration that even through all I have achieved, I still feel I haven't achieved what my mission is [despite being on the path to achieving that]. Maybe it's because underneath it all, I miss my close friends and the deep contact we used to have, and when one is too busy to spend time with one's friends, that goes by the wayside. Maybe it's hormones....or is it just 'that time of year'?

I'm thinking about the fact that it is almost Christmas already - how quickly that has come along - but how I also feel pretty good, because for the first time in a few years now, the tree is up, four weeks ahead of the event, rather than four days! How lucky we are, that we live where we get to celebrate Christmas, with all the trimmings, and we can afford to enjoy it, as well as donate to allow others to enjoy it too.  [That reminds me, I have to buy a gift for the wishing tree at my son's school this week.]

Year's end also makes me think about what I have achieved this year - about whether I have progressed sufficiently to be where I want to be - and this year, I have made definite progress.

I've completed my class time and very nearly completed my assessments for the third diploma in three years - not a bad effort! It will definitely be finished in the next few weeks, and that excites me greatly.
I've been national president of two NFP's simultaneously since 1 August, and we are achieving progress in both - again, exciting.
I've managed to catch up with some of the very special people in my life - some of whom I have barely seen in 20 years - what a hoot!
I've witnessed performances that previously were a name on a bucket list - some were awe-inspiring and lived up to the brief, some a little less so, but I still saw them and I am grateful for the experience!
I've managed to find someone to fix the ceiling damage in my home that has been awaiting repair for 9 months now - it's being done this week....and I have managed to find someone to look after the garden [something I struggle to do with my health issues these days] and keep the exterior of the house maintained....this gives me great joy.

But the greatest joy and most important thing of all to me, is that I have two boys, growing into beautiful young men, and they constantly bring me joy and great pride - and sometimes great frustration too, but that is life!

You know, its funny - looking back at all that I am grateful for, and joyous about, makes me smile....and I don't want to cry any more!

What a wonderful gift it is to be grateful - to stop and appreciate our lives. Our ups and downs, our achievements, and those things we are yet to achieve; the delights, and the disappointments, the meaningful and the whimsical - all the magnificent facets that combine into this glorious thing we call life.

When I stop and think about them, I am grateful most of all, for days like these!